So tonight I have to stay up with my bestie most of the night so that she can have an EEG tomorrow morning. Basically what that is is they make you have less than 4 hours sleep in a 24 hour period, no caffiene, no chocolate, no sweets, no stay awake stuff. Then they will stick wires all over her head and she will sit there for an hour doing who knows what. So in preparation for this, we are going to stay up as long as possible starting at midnight watching the entire 3rd season of big bang theory.
While we are waiting for that though I decided to do a little dabble on positive things, because I haven't been very positive lately due to various things. Earlier I was complaining to myself in my head about how old I feel, because I can't stay awake all hours of the morning like I used to anymore. But after that I found a ton of more reasons why I am a lot better off in this time frame than I was in my high school years.
One of the biggest things I like about not being in high school is not having to wake up at the crack of dawn, get dressed in the middle of winter and freeze my butt off, than freeze my butt off in the car on the way to school. I didn't even have to do this in college a lot, because I could choose what times my classes started. I think the earliest I ever took a class was at 8 am, and that was like... 2 days out of the week. either I didn't have to go to class 'till 9 am, when the sun was actually out, or I stumbled out of the house to go to my dads and slept there a bit before class. Catching up on all the sleep I didn't get in high school, probably a lot because I didn't want to get up, so logically I didn't sleep, is a really nice feeling.
Second is my beliefs. In a lot of ways, I felt like I was oppressed throughout high school for many of the things I believed in, because someone else didn't like the idea of it, or because I grew up thinking specific things were not socially acceptable. The older I got and the more I experienced, the more I didn't care about what others think of my beliefs. We all have our own opinions on various topics, and no two people are going to think exactly the same. I will respect other people's opinions, but if they don't respect mine, it's not my problem. and if they try to make it my problem, they aren't worth my time.
Third is the complete 180 that happened with the friendships I have -or had- with people. My whole junior year was filled to the brim with challenges that really opened my eyes to who were truly my friends... and then people who were kind of there... and then the people who just... weren't. I have a better relationship with everyone that I met outside of school, or in my senior year of high school, than all the friends I had all three other years combined. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I don't see them very often, so when I do it's more pleasant than the other day where I ran into one of the friends I made freshman year, and felt completely awkward. It's actually doubly sad though, because I've seen people that live an hour+ away driving about 20 bajillion times more than I have any of my friends from freshman-junior year. and the majority of them are in walking distance from my house (-cough-like
Another thing that is both a blessing and a curse, is that I no longer care very much about my outward appearance. Not that I've given up entirely, but I haven't had to MAKE myself get all prettied up for days on end in a long time. I don't have to spend 45 minutes every night straightening my hair, or wake up an extra half hour early to do my make up. I don't have to spend forever and a day picking out uncomfortable clothes that may or may not make me look good. I can wait a few days to shower instead of showering every other day. I don't have to bend my legs in weird angles every 4 days or so to shave them. I wasn't quite that bad in college, but it was pretty darn close, since I never actually made any super close, "I hang out with every day" friends the couple of weeks I actually did make that kind of effort. The only thing I can really say I'm unhappy with is my weight. I am literally the heaviest I have ever been, which I am -trying- to work on.
But that brings me to the final point I am going to elaborate on, which is relationships. In a lot of ways I think I am a hopeless romantic, and that was probably the worst downfall I had when it came to relationships throughout high school. Any sort of memory I have of the relationships I had bring me a cringe attack and a half, partially because of how stupid I was, and partially because of how stupid they were, and partially because of all the unnecessary drama caused by me, them, or a third party. All of that aside, I am very grateful that I can be together with someone as great as Sam, and feel even more blessed that I have had the privilege of being with him for so long. We've had our ups, and there have definitely been downs, but we can work through them. I don't have to be this pretty picture or someone who is just... not me. There is no reason for me to be jealous, which is probably one of the biggest insecurities I've always had, and a lot of time with really good reasons. The past is past, and I love Sam, and that's the best thing I could ever ask for. Except for of course
, who is my best friend, who I will be watching BBT with in about 20 minutes to support her non sleeping ways for this very needed medical test.
All in all, aside from the lack of brain stimulation I lost when I stopped going to college, and the lack of a workforce and money, I have it a lot easier support wise than I did while I was in high school. It is really nice, when you think about it, and how much people grow and change... or don't grow and change, in some people's cases (cause at least I can scroll on facebook to various people I never talk to anymore and laugh at how much they keep making the EXACT same mistakes they did 3,4,5 years ago... honestly)
So moral of this... Stay in school, not for the education -although that's important too- but for the life experiences that you will look back on and go "WOW you were an idiot!" That you don't get once you're out.