So the past few weeks have been pretty roller coaster-esque for me. I've pretty much all but abandoned MMO's for now as they really weren't doing anything good for me anyway. Being upset and frustrated over things that didn't make any sense, it was just better to leave it alone for now. So I've been passing my time with Debugging 7 years worth of sims 3 custom content which has slowed my game to acrawl, playing the HD Remaster of FFX and X-2, and also creating a newfound love for Final Fantasy IX, which I haven't really played since I bought it years ago ( I have a lot of games I've hardly touched) and I'm loving it so far. Let's see how long it lasts.XD
Things are better between Sam and I recently. The medicine I was on to help with the jaw pain was giving me larger than usual mood swings- to where we were fighting constantly. I've been off of it for almost a week now and it's like night and day, although I don't sleep as well at night. I had a dream that mixed Final Fantasy XIV/ Hercules / Kiki's delivery service, where I was a witch/ demigod who was daughter of Titan, and I had discovered anew continent on the opposite side of Coerthas that had corrupted gods (and of course the gods were primals) and I had to save people from grumpiness and poverty... that dream ended a little too quickly for me but oh well. We have up our christmas tree two months early as well. no regrets on that, and the cats love sleeping underneath it.
We never did get Kari declawed,but we're still seriously considering it. We will have to take her in sometime soon, the growth on her foot is starting to grow again, and she has another one it seems growing on her upper chest. This is gonna be fun. Not really.
The lack of MMO Playing has made me realize just how antisocial I've become. Or how just plain unagreeable I am. somehow, I am at war with my in laws because of things that I have heard from various people. Horror stories that have me concerned, but god forbid I bring them up with the same people who told them to me. That, and I just don't have a lot- if any- actual friends right now. There are a couple, but either it's a one-sided type of thing where they only wanna spend time with me on their terms, or they're just plain.... not all there. I mean, I know I'm not really all there either, but there is not all there, and then therse "Not all THERE". and then the people who are all there don't really want to have anything to do with me... Yep.
I was going to continue, but I might just cry out of frustration. This is one of those really hard periods in my life I guess, where there isn't anything actually wrong but it feels like the world is crashing and I feel so...stuck. and alone. Not because I'm actually alone, but because my views are different from other peoples. or I act different or feel different. and I'm tired of hiding how I feel or who I am because I don't want to offend somebody. I want to be able to tell this person to grow up, that people deal with things ten times harder and push through, or that person that yes I have a problem with thisand that and the other that I keep hearing... It's hard.